Today seemed very hard. Lots of end of year good byes and a rushed afternoon. All I know is that all of a sudden I came to my room and flipped open my computer and typed in those old words: For some reason I had to, hearing Leo and Sasha argue upstairs I just had to (I hope you understand.).


I read each story while looking back, trying to think about what was going on then, and what I know now that I didn’t know then. All I can say was when I went back to the old blog and read the very first post I began to cry.


So much is going on — for example Sasha went to the gym today — and yes that was a huge landmark but for some reason it made me upset. On June 27 Leo and I will be going to the Egger boys’ land of dreams and that is Camp Lanakila. Even though that is the most magical place in the world, seeing the young counselors also makes me sad. People at camp still call me Sasha sometimes. Some nights at camp I could not sleep because when I think of Sasha I just worry. I worry so much even when I hear something good. For me seeing Sasha doing so good is petrifying to me even though that is very strange.